Why Your Background Doesn’t Disqualify You From Reaching Those in the Sex Industry

“It’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t in the life.”

I have heard this statement. or some variation of it, more times than I can count. When we are completely immersed in the sex industry/the life, it is easy to feel isolated from the outside world. Sometimes, it’s refreshing to connect with someone in the square world. It can even feel like a life line. 

I am the first to tell you that there is incredible value in survivor-leadership and mentorship. It is powerful to hear about the experiences of other survivors and how they found freedom and healing from the sex industry, exploitation and trafficking. HOWEVER, in no way does this disqualify those who don’t have a similar background. 

I myself am a survivor. When I want relationship advice, I go to someone who has successfully developed a healthy, committed relationship. When I want advice on finances, I call someone who knows how to manage money. When I want parenting advice, I call up people who are doing this well. Sometimes, the person I turn to also happens to be a survivor. But sometimes, they aren’t.  

“Will you judge me?”

When a survivor is reluctant to talk to someone who hasn’t been in the industry or the life, I can almost guarantee you that this is the question at the core of their hesitation. Sometimes, a survivor might even “test” you by telling you something really shocking, just to see how you will respond. Will you pull back, ever so slightly, with a horrified look in your eyes? Or will you lean in with empathy?

You don’t have to have a background in the sex industry, or have been exploited or trafficked to meaningfully invest in the lives of survivors.

You don’t have been where they have been to be committed to understanding where they are coming from. If you can establish yourself as a safe, non-judgmental, supportive ally, you can build trust and rapport that will open the door to a positive, and potentially transformational relationship.

If you have a heart to support survivors, we want to help you do that well! 
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