Two Mistakes You Could Be Making with Outreach
I was absolutely terrified the first time I stepped foot in a strip club to do outreach. On the outside, I was cool, calm and collected… feigning confidence. I knew enough about the clubs to know that they would send us away with our tails between our legs if we walked up showing fear and intimidation.
In 2003, strip club outreach wasn’t really a thing. I didn’t have anyone to turn to for advice or helpful pro tips. All I had was a vision to see women reached and a willingness to try.
We developed our trainings so that others with a heart for this don’t have to figure it all out on their own like I had to.
Here are a couple of mistakes you could be making on outreach…
1. PUTTING THE WRONG ITEMS IN YOUR “GIFTS”
During an in-person training in South America, we had the opportunity to join a wonderful team on their weekly outreach to a track in their city. As tourists buzzed about, women lingered on street corners, looking to attract the attention of potential buyers. Earlier that night, I noticed that their clear gift bags were stuffed with a myriad of items, including hotel soap and maxi-pads.
“Hmmm…” I thought. “That would never fly in Los Angeles, but maybe things are different here?” I wondered.
As we approached a cluster of three women, towering in 9-inch platform stilettos, I watched their eyes dart down to the clear, plastic gifts bags we were holding. One of them held up her hand and said something in Portuguese. I don’t speak Portuguese, but the way her eyes rolled slightly before she turned away, told me everything I needed to know. She was not impressed with our offerings of feminine hygiene products.
I pulled the team leader aside and suggested we remove all of the toiletries from the gift bags, leaving behind only the lip gloss and jewelry that was mingled in. Sure enough, after the next group of women surveyed our gifts, they welcomed us with smiles and hugs.
“Your gift will make a way for you.”
On outreach, I have found this to be true. But what we put in the gift bags matters, because the gift itself communicates something to the women we are reaching.
Maxi-pads and hotel shampoo bottles say, “You are dirty and probably can’t afford basic hygiene products.”
Lip gloss and jewelry says, “We are thinking of you and want to brighten your day.”
Pro-tip: In deciding what to put in a gift bag, put it through the Christmas stocking test. If it isn’t something you would enjoy receiving in a Christmas stocking, it probably doesn’t belong in a gift bag.
2. OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME
I want to start by saying that I recognize that every outreach scenario is different. It is important to consider culture, context and what works in your specific situation.
Some outreach teams hunker down and order a drink inside the club. This is arguably a matter of preference, but we do not believe that this is the most effective way of doing outreach. Admittedly, a lot of this has to do with my own biases and experiences from having worked in strip clubs. If a woman continues to engage you in conversation and it does not appear to be an issue with the management, by all means, stay and talk to her. In our training, we talk about how to do this well.
In some instances, you might be able to get away with staying longer and lingering a bit. And maybe that is okay. But maybe it isn’t. Before you decide on how long you stay inside the club or at your outreach destination, please consider what I am about to say.
Here are reasons why we don’t think lingering too long is a good idea:
The management might begin to grow uncomfortable with your presence and be less likely to let you in the next time.
Many women I know have expressed that they felt uncomfortable and looked down upon by outreach groups who hung out in the club. Although it wasn’t their intention, their presence alone made them feel judged.
The women are often in hustle mode and are looking for potential customers. Your presence may feel like a distraction.
When I worked in the clubs even if someone told me they were there to “love-on” me, I would try to get them to buy a dance. Any effort to reach out to me would seem insincere . Regardless of what they said, I would have believed they were there to see naked women.
At the end of the day, we believe that the better interactions will happen outside of the club, on the women’s terms and when they are more likely to be their authentic selves, rather than the alter ego they hide behind in the club.
These are just a couple of common mistakes I see people making with outreach. In our training, we will share all of our outreach tips, gleaned from almost two decades of experience, along with typical conversations and how to respond to common objections and rejection.
