I was adopted from an orphanage near Boston when I was three months old. I was the victim of molestation at least three times when I was a little girl, and I lost my virginity to a date rape. As a teenager, I became very rebellious and started getting in the back doors of nightclubs in Minneapolis. One of those nights, I was kidnapped by a pimp and taken to another state to prostitute for call services. I eventually got away from him, but continued prostituting, as well as dancing; it was easy and I lacked education. I had never known sex as an act of love.
I moved to several different states and stayed in “the game.” I ended up in Las Vegas, where I made a lot of money and felt like a little star. I was surrounded by V.I.P., fur coats, diamonds, gold, nice places, and cars with “phat” rims. But, as time went on, I found it harder to handle what I was doing for a living. I felt that if one more man touched me, I might lose it.
At this point I was already smoking chronic, but I later became addicted to meth and ecstasy (I never thought I would become addicted to anything in my life). The drugs helped numb the pain in my life for a while until I hit a deep dark depression. I no longer wanted to live anymore. I had seen too much. Everyone I ever had in my life had left me. I lost friends to murder, suicide, and drug overdose. I had been mentally and physically abused and tormented by all those memories. I was so alone.
One night I was sitting on my bed doing lines of meth and I decided to kill myself. I already owned a gun, so that was easy. I pulled it out of my nightstand and put it to my head. Before I pulled the trigger, I thought I would try one more thing to escape from the pain. I said, “Lord, if you’re real and take the way I feel away from me, I will stop working, and doing drugs and live my life for you.” At that moment, I felt a peace come into my room. Now I know that it was the Holy Spirit. I put the gun down, got on my knees, and gave my life to the Lord. The enemy tried to tell me that I had to quit everything first and then go to church, but God said, ” Just come to me as you are!”
The next day I found a good church called the International Church of Las Vegas. I met the pastor’s wife, as well other leaders, who mentored and counseled me as I was trying to make my transition. But it was so hard leaving some friends and the money behind, so I kept one foot in church and one foot in the world. It took something devastating for me to come all the way to God. One of my best friends, Leanne, and I were trying to get out of “the game.” Her plan was to start college. She got a computer and started making her plans, but it never happened. Leanne went to see her regular customer one last time and he murdered her while I was on the phone with her. Within hours of finding out what happened to my girl, I promised God and Leanne that if there was anything I could do while I was alive to spare even one more girl’s life, I would do it.
I am not a sellout or a snitch; I have many friends who are still in the life. But the thing about “the game” is that it’s really a big game on us from the devil! You say to yourself, “just four months,” and then it turns into a year and then years. My question to anyone reading this who might still be hustlin’ is, “How many people have you actually seen make it out?”
God has taken these experiences in my life and put a burden in my heart and a ministry within my church. We use unconditional love and support to help people who feel stuck in “the game” and do not see a way out. Their lives are changed by the power that only God can give them. None of us knows what could have happened in someone’s life for them to end up in “the game.” Some have been manipulated, others kidnapped, and still others find themselves caught up in it as a result of a lack of education and economic opportunities in their community.
Many kids grow up in environments where all they see is poverty. Many experience abuse and neglect and have drug-addicted parents. From these experiences they learn that they’re not worth anything. The only people they see making it out of where they come from are doing it illegally. Then society punishes them for growing up to be pimps, prostitutes, drug dealers, or gang members. I believe you cannot judge anybody unless you’ve walked in their shoes.
I was in “the game” for the majority of my life. I’ve had many friends lose their lives and their souls.
God has now given me the awesome opportunity to pour life into those who are stuck in this lifestyle!
God Bless You!