Growing up, had anyone told me that I am valued and that my value is far above rubies and pearls, I would have thought they were crazy.

Growing up, my three siblings and I were raised by a hard-working single mother with no father figure in sight.  Even though we lived in a nice, middle-class suburban neighborhood, I always remember finances being very scarce.  At a very young age I began developing, and I remember being scolded for my accurate self-portrait in 3^rd grade.  At age 11, I was raped by someone close to our family and sexually abused by a few others. Throughout my teenage years, I felt very alone, very rejected and hungry for love and acceptance.

 

Once I entered college, I was focused on gaining the love and acceptance I had long craved. I joined a sorority and other clubs, but again began to experience more rejection. By my junior year of college, I began to party and binge drink more frequently. By this time, I reasoned that since I had already lost my virginity, what’s the point of waiting for Prince Charming. Seeing other girls wearing expensive brands and not having to worry about finances made me jealous. I wanted to, for once in my life, not feel like a starving student. I wanted to be spoiled, appreciated, and treated like a princess. I soon began to frequent sugar daddy websites, hoping to find myself a great guy who would take me on trips and spoil me like I had seen on various daytime talk shows. Even though I may have found one or two that did treat me well, I found myself giving bits and pieces of myself away, hoping to have someone free me from my financial misery.

 

I began living a double life; around family and friends, I was a student and leader, but I would always find a way to keep my sordid sugar daddies and lifestyle under wraps. One sugar daddy encouraged my desire to be with other women. I began to attend sex parties and clubs and to feel like a rare, sought-after jewel because I could pick and choose whom I wanted to be with. I wanted to have a sense of power and control over what I had once lost as a young girl.  I remember one night thinking, “What would Jesus think of me if He came back tonight.” Even though I was raised in church throughout my childhood, I never really had a relationship with God and didn’t really know the heart and character of God.

 

In January of 2009, I found myself taking a train to San Diego to meet up with a guy I talked to online for a length of time. I was riding with him in a limo, things took a bad turn, and the guy I had known wanted to leave me on the side of some hill. I literally had to talk the chauffeur into driving me to a major street, so that I could manage to get to a hotel. This night I felt like I was at the lowest of lows. I felt so stupid for doing this and ashamed of all I had become. Funny enough, I had already agreed to go to church with my mom the following day. I remember bawling my eyes out once worship began and knowing I needed to come back to God. I made a decision to begin looking for a home church back in Los Angeles, and, a few months later, found Oasis Church.

 

That summer, I remember hearing Harmony Dust speak at a service, and my jaw dropped to the ground. I never knew of a church where a woman could so bravely share her testimony; her past of sexual abuse, bisexuality, and shame from working in the sex industry. Before this time, I was scared silly of sharing my past with anyone, fearing that they would shrink back with disgust and completely reject me. I knew that if anyone would understand my past and help me to receive healing, it was Harmony. At the time, she gave me the book “Beauty For Ashes” by Joyce Meyer, and this book brought such a level of healing that I had never experienced.  Harmony walked with me through some of the first and most painful steps of my healing journey. Since then, I have been a faithful attender of Celebrate Recovery, a faith-based, twelve-step program offered at Oasis.  In December 2011, I celebrated 18 months of freedom from sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, feelings of abandonment and rejection, amongst other issues.

 

Almost exactly one year after Harmony reached out to me, God put it on my heart to reconnect with her. I had just lost my job, and I didn’t know what to do with all the free time I had. Harmony encouraged me to volunteer at the Treasures’ office, which at the time was inside her home. During this time, God continued to heal me on many levels while I continued being a consistent volunteer. I realized that I had been in denial about my past lifestyle. I realized that being a sugar baby was almost no different than being a selective escort or escort-in-training.  But, praise God that I learned to no longer live in shame from my past, but to continue to forgive myself and move forward in His complete love, grace and mercy.

 

Soon after volunteering, I decided to officially intern at Treasures through Oasis Church. As of July 2011, I joined the Treasures Staff on a part-time basis. I thank God every chance I get for the healing and freedom He has restored in me through Treasures. I consider it the greatest honor, blessing and gift to serve Treasures in this capacity. Because of Harmony and the work of Treasures, I have a heart-revelation of how truly loved, valued and purposed I am, and am now able to share that same message to countless women.