Getting Past Your Past: Replace the Lies

Harmony (Dust) Grillo Blog, Life After The Sex Industry, Straight from Harmony's Heart Leave a Comment

I used to believe a lot of lies. They were so woven into the fabric of my being that they became my personal truth. I believed that I was worthless, stupid, and unlovable.  I believed that I was destined to be abused or abandoned by any male I ever cared for.

My life reflected what I thought to be true, because I made choices based on those deep beliefs.  In essence, my thoughts shaped my beliefs, my beliefs dictated my actions and ultimately led to habitually poor choices.

A long history of abuse led me to believe that I was the kind of girl who deserved to be abused.  It shaped the way I viewed myself and the world around me and kept me stuck in destructive relationships.

Transformation and healing often requires a “make-over” of the mind.  Many of us spend a lot of time on our outer appearance.  Just to get ready in the morning, most women use an entire arsenal of equipment- dryers, irons, lotions and sprays, body scrubs, and make-up.  Men, don’t front, you have razors, aftershave, pomade for your hair and cross fit to boot!


But do we spend as much time “making over” our minds?


The Bible tells us to ‘Be transformed by the renewing of your mind’ (Romans 12:2). It also says that we are to ‘take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’ (2 Corinthians 10:5).


There is a process of transformation that requires action on our part. It is up to us to actively identify and take hold of the lies we believe and replace them with the truth. Every time I found myself playing those old mental tapes that told me I was worthless and unlovable, I redirected my thinking to the truth: that I am wildly loved by a faithful God who has a good plan for my life.  (Ephesians 3:17-19, Deuteronomy 31:8, Jeremiah 29:11)

I don’t know about you but I want to be as diligent about caring for my inner-self as I am with my outer-self. At the end of the day, that is what truly matters. People aren’t impacted by how straight I get my hair with the hottest flat iron on the market. But they will be impacted by how I live my life, the choices I make, and the way I love the people around me.  And ultimately, the way I live my life (my actions and habits) is a reflection of the things I believe.


As we contemplate the kind of lives we hope to live, these are questions we can ask ourselves:

• What thoughts am I allowing to shape my belief system?

• How does my life reflect what I believe?

• How could my life change if my thoughts change?

• What are the truths that I can use to combat the lies?

As you engage in the discipline of redirecting your thoughts to the truth of God’s Word, you are bound to see healthy changes in your life!


*This blog was originally a part of Bible reading plan (Getting Past Your Past) I wrote for Youversion. It can also be found in Youversion’s Bible App.


If you’d like to read more of my story you can get a copy of my memoir, Scars and Stilettos…







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