Desecration Dance

Harmony (Dust) Grillo Blog, Straight from Harmony's Heart, The Truth About the Sex Industry Leave a Comment

Defense mechanisms: We all have them. They make it possible for us to survive in our own skin when it hurts, when it is burned and scorched and stretched tightly around us in such a way that we feel immobilized. Somewhere, deep inside, we find a way to carry on with our daily lives when nothing around us makes sense. We search for mantras and meaning that enable us to we remain as we are. We endure until the pain of changing hurts less than the heartache of continuing on in our present state.

 

I had been working as a stripper for more than two years when my mantras stopped working and the search for meaning in the world around me became a lost cause. It was then that I really considered it all for the first time. I got honest with myself and my defenses began to crumble. I wrote the poem below while I was still in the industry during a time when my defense mechanisms, rationalizing and denial, stopped working for me.

 

Desecration Dance

Art, be my rationalization

As I tease their carnal desires

They watch with greedy eyes

Making my performance dire

Music, be my salvation

Tranquilize my pain

I let my body embrace you

But our work is done in vain

Money, be my dignification

As the unique becomes mundane

As I do this for you,

The sacred becomes profane

I know of its inflictions

Scars formed by gradual abrasion

You may call it dance

But it’s my desecration

                        April 1997

 

Reflection

Then I looked on all that my hands had done and the labor I had spent in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after the wind and a feeding on it, and there was no profit under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 2:11 (AMP)

 

 

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