I Like Me

Posted by Harmony Dust on Friday, August 3, 2012 · 2 Comments 

I Like Me

“I have a best friend.  That best friend is me! I like me! I do fun things with me!”

This was the opening line to a children’s book I used to read while I worked in an early childhood education program back in the 90s.  It was about a pig who absolutely loved herself.

It proved to be a crowd favorite with the 2-year olds.  It was one of the most requested books for story time.  But I thought it was a little funny.  Wasn’t it sort of arrogant of the pig to speak so highly of herself?

At the time, the whole idea of liking yourself seemed especially absurd to me because, I just didn’t.  Not one bit really.

I had confidence in certain things.  I knew I was good at shoplifting (add that to your resume).  I could drink a 40 faster than any of my guy friends. And up until I was 13, I could beat ANYONE my age, and I mean ANYONE at arm wrestling.

But as for who I was…the real me…the person inside, I didn’t think she was so great.

I worked hard to prove myself to other people and then compared myself to them.  There was always someone prettier, skinnier, smarter, more popular, richer, a better dancer.  When I looked at them, I felt small.  Their success and opportunities, their strengths and abilities, only served as a sad reminder of my failures and lack.

I would even draw these horrible self-portraits in which I would exaggerate all of my perceived flaws.  Frizzy hair, acne, eyes too small, waist too thick, on an on.  The drawing was always a grossly distorted representation of what I really looked like.  I would stare at the picture and cry until I finally ripped it up in disgust.

I’m turning 36 this month and a lot has changed since then.

Last night we had a Treasures leadership meeting and when it was my turn to do “hi’s and low’s”, a regular practice in which we share the good, the bad and the ugly with each other. I was telling the team about what a great season I am in at the moment.

“I really like my life.  It’s not how I planned, but I like it.  I love my daughter, love my job, I love my friends, I enjoy my own hobbies….and you know what, I like me.” I said blushing and slightly embarrassed at how prideful this could sound.

We all had a really great laugh.  I assured them (and myself) that it really is a good thing for me to love myself.  After all, doesn’t Jesus say to love your neighbor as yourself?  I imagine the logic would follow that the more I am able to love myself, the better I will be at loving the people around me.

I’m not perfect.  My life isn’t perfect.  Far from it. But I am finally at a place where I realize that it doesn’t have to be perfect in order for me to be content. I am well aware of my flaws.  They are many! Just ask my Celebrate Recovery sponsor and accountability partners!

But I like myself, and I like who I am becoming.

I have some pretty incredible friends doing some really amazing things.  They are writing songs, transforming communities, running departments and organizations, raising children and maintaining great marriages.   Their accomplishments and abilities excite me because they remind me that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!

I can rejoice with them because I don’t want to be them.  I can celebrate their wins because I know that I don’t serve a “I-have-one-pie-with-10-slices-and-there-is-only-so-much-blessing-to-go-around” kind of God. I serve a God whose plans for me are good.  Who can do above all I can ask, think, or imagine. A God of abundance.

Today my friend Jason posted the video below on my Facebook wall.  He is the Treasures prayer director and was present for my public confession of self-like.  It seems he is still having a chuckle about it.

I can tell you that I identify with this little girl’s enthusiasm:)

VIDEO

How about you? Do you like yourself?

Do you think it’s prideful to like who you are? Do tell:)

Love, Harmony