Men Who Buy Sex
Men Who Buy Sex…
Newsweek did a great article featuring the research of Dr. Melissa Farley. This is a must read!
The John Next Door
The men who buy sex are your neighbors and colleagues. A new study reveals how the burgeoning demand for porn and prostitutes is warping relationships and endangering women and girls. Men of all ages, races, religions, and backgrounds do it. Rich men do it, and poor men do it, in forms so varied and ubiquitous that they can be summoned at a moment’s notice.
And yet surprisingly little is known about the age-old practice of buying sex, long assumed to be inevitable. No one even knows what proportion of the male population does it; estimates range from 16 percent to 80 percent. “Ninety-nine percent of the research in this field has been done on prostitutes, and 1 percent has been done on johns,” says Melissa Farley, director of Prostitution Research and Education, a nonprofit organization that is a project of San Francisco Women’s Centers.
A clinical psychologist, Farley studies prostitution, trafficking, and sexual violence, but even she wasn’t sure how representative her results were. “The question has always remained: are all our findings true of just sex buyers, or are they true of men in general?” she says.
In a new study released exclusively to NEWSWEEK, “Comparing Sex Buyers With Men Who Don’t Buy Sex,” Farley provides some startling answers. Although the two groups share many attitudes about women and sex, they differ in significant ways illustrated by two quotes that serve as the report’s subtitle.
One man in the study explained why he likes to buy prostitutes: “You can have a good time with the servitude,” he said. A contrasting view was expressed by another man as the reason he doesn’t buy sex: “You’re supporting a system of degradation,” he said.
And yet buying sex is so pervasive that Farley’s team had a shockingly difficult time locating men who really don’t do it. The use of pornography, phone sex, lap dances, and other services has become so widespread that the researchers were forced to loosen their definition in order to assemble a 100-person control group.
“We had big, big trouble finding nonusers,” Farley says. “We finally had to settle on a definition of non-sex-buyers as men who have not been to a strip club more than two times in the past year, have not purchased a lap dance, have not used pornography more than one time in the last month, and have not purchased phone sex or the services of a sex worker, escort, erotic masseuse, or prostitute.”…
What a tragic commentary on our times.
I always think of the testimony in Harmony’s book of the girl who wouldn’t go into church because she recognized too many men in the sanctuary. I rest in the hope found in 2 Chr. 7:14 “if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves & pray & seek my face & turn from their wicked ways then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin & heal their land.”
I support ministries that are helping the victims, but as long as there is a demand, there will be a creep to supply it. Time for the church of Jesus Christ to hit their knees in repentance & prayer.
Wow! So sad to me that they couldn’t find 100 men who don’t buy sex! This has to change!
I’m pretty surprised to hear a lot of the facts found in this article. I feel this is something more men should read. It’s certainly making me think twice about some of my choices.
It’s like there is an unawareness of the victimization our seemingly everyday decisions can bring about.
Thanks for posting this, Harmony. Quite a wake up call.
Regardless of whether the definition changes or not, the world that we live in cannot hide the fact that at the core of the sex industry lies a deeper and darker reality that we are objectifying and placing value upon something that was meant to be priceless; we cannot place a price tag on the value of a human life. We are talking about the future safety of our wives, children, and dare I say it men every day that we tolerate the proliferation of the mediums through which the illusion of sexual intimacy can be created, we lose more and more every day our humanity and understanding of love.
Things are not hopeless however, I am convinced that through widespread awareness and understanding we can redeem the value of sexuality and intimacy. People just need to understand the meaning of true love.
Thanks for posting Harmony! What a great article…informative, and inspiring. The lie that these girls have a choice is one we all need to understand.